Go to sleep. That is how I avoid things. It is so easy. I just shut my eyes and everything disappears, problems, doubts, disappointments. I love sleep. It is the best medicine in the world. It is better than any drug. I can sleep for days. I can sleep on crowded L Trains. I can sleep standing up, sitting down, and unfortunately while I am driving. I have never been able to do a pull up, push up, or sit up. And I cannot keep my eyes open when my mind wants to shut off. I am the opposite of an insomniac. I must be a Maniac or some other kind of ac.
I knew I would get stuck at Fifth Grade. I should have known better than to include a recollection of the progression of my school years in the Blog O Sfear as I now think of it. What am I afraid of? The usual:
Failure
Water
Poverty
Looking Stupid
Sounding Stupid
Mediocrity
Becoming My Mother
Becoming My Father
Becoming My Self
Finding My Self
Losing My Self
Oh well, I could stay up and write all night but who knows where that would lead. So I guess I will go to sleep so I will never have to find out what words I have been hiding deep in the recesses of my mind. Ha and I always said Recess was my favorite subject in school.
I do not go to sleep per chance to dream, no I chase sleep per chance to forget my dreams, the ones that I have not been able to make come true.
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