358 Days to the Big 50

The keys on the keyboard on the slide out shelf of my desk have a totally different feel to them and require a lot more pressure from my fingertips. Please read the previous blog to understand why I am discussing the keyboard. I don't like change. I never have. But it will be one of my goals this last year of my 40's to begin to embrace change. I must start by stopping myself from constantly joking about how I do not like change. Mind over matter. I believe I can convince myself of anything. I think everyone has this power. I can write 1,000 times how I do not like to eat cereal and eventually I will truly believe I don't like cereal. I don't plan on doing that, but I could. It is part of that saying about "happiness is a decision." I just saw that cute quote on a piece of tin in an aisle at Target. There were a whole bunch of hanging tin plated decorations with catchy and very meaningful quotes like "People matter more than Possessions" and stuff like that. Which is interesting in that they are attempting to get us to buy some "thing" to remind us of just how unimportant "things" are.

Can I really hypnotize myself by writing something a thousand times until I make it happen in my mind and in my life? I think so. I once lost weight that way. I just kept telling myself I had no appetite and I kept writing down how skinny I wanted to be and eventually it happened. Of course 5 years later I started eating a lot again and soon the weight returned. Can I make my distaste of change into a love of change? Or will my new found brave approach to embracing, chasing and loving change eventually just change back to my old deeply embedded fear of change? Can I change the way I feel about change on a permanent basis? Or, will it be like yoyo dieting with periods where I not only overcome the fear of change but learn to love change and periods where I stand perfectly still refusing to change one single life pattern from the previous 49 years. Fifty or Bust! I am ready for the ride. Bring on the Changes. (please hum David Bowie singing ch..ch..ch..ch.ch. Changes....