Oooops, I am not a cougar

I wish I was a cougar, but I guess what I really am is a middle aged nerd that does not understand the real meaning of cougar. My idea for cougar beat magazine is all wrong. I would be way too embarrassed to be naked with someone 20 years younger than I am. So I guess I need to change the idea for the magazine. What animal am I? If I am not a cougar, I need to be identified as some other mammal. The magazine needs a hook. As noted before, I want glossy posters for my bedroom, but not necessarily of 20 something males. I often like the 40 year olds (they are still 9 years younger, so would that qualify me as a cougar?). If I don't fit into Tiger Beat demographics and I do not think I could be a reliable cougar then I need a different animal identity. Monkey Beat? Maybe, it worked for a psuedo group once before. And even better Davy Jones was one of the original crushes I had back in the day when I did fit into the Tiger Beat demographic. They may not have been the Beatles but they were okay. I am not aspiring for any literary prizes here so if I modeled the magazine after another impersonation so closely related to the theme, it might work. If there are copy rights involved I could always go with the Chimpanzee Beat, or the Gorilla Beat (for women who like hairy men or women who refuse to shave under their arms). I am still looking to "beef up" the staff, so interested parties need to reply to this Blog ASAP before we all qualify for AARP (which in my case is only 6 years away!)