Roberta's Reality

Once a routine becomes old it becomes useless by virtue of its age. It becomes so automatic the energy driving it naturally reduces over time and the routine that initially motivated us to engage in a a healthy new habit, begins to self destruct when it turns into a mindless activity. Suddenly, without warning we are simply going through the motions. Effectiveness is destroyed by mindlessness. This is basically how I interpreted what Roberta was trying to tell me. I hope I got it right. It was her way of explaining to me why I needed to change something I had been doing for years but was no longer helping me the way it once did.

"Stop judging something on the merit of how long it lasts and start appreciating it only as long as it is effective." Roberta said. Once it is not longer effective then change becomes necessary for survival. No wonder she is so smart in the sciences. It was beginning to make sense.

I always saw change as bad but that would mean adaptation , survival of the fittest is bogus. Who the hell am I to disqualify Darwin’s theories based on my fears.

But when it comes to reality, then suddenly Roberta and I must part ways once again. I wonder if she will ever get me to come around to her way of thinking. I call her to tell her something really sad on a weekly basis lately. Stories of women around our age, late 40's, early 50's becoming widowed or dying themselves. Cancer, aneurysms, suicide, botched surgeries, foreclosures, bankruptcy, and of course, job losses were just some causes for the tragedies I would hear about whether through numerous grapevines including other parents at one of the schools my kids attend, our temple condolence email, or by reading the local suburban newspapers or facebook.

"Do not check your email! And stop reading the Daily Herald." Roberta said in an effort to cut off my sources of sorrowful information. "That is the problem with our society today. We hear about everything. When your father died we were in fourth grade and the only people who knew were our classmates, your relatives and the neighbors on your block. Now, someone dies and we hear about it in every suburb within a 50 miles radius. " It is too much. You can't fill your days with other people's problems."*

Then Roberta tells me I should watch "The Housewives of Beverly Hills." I hate reality television. Why does she watch reality shows which she admits to being addicted to, but does not want me calling her up with "real" reality? I am so confused.

*Editor's note: There is no editor. And I am paraphrasing Roberta because I do not have a good enough memory to recall exactly how she says things. I hope she does not sue me.