270 Days Until the Big Five-0

Socks and Hangers


I remember the first time I saw Jerry Seinfeld. One of my best friends had a crush on this “cute” Jewish comedienne and she said we had to go see him at Zanies Comedy Club. So we went. We were sitting about 2 feet from the stage when he came out. He was the quintessential nice looking Jewish Boy like so many of the ones we grew up around. He was funny and did some long story about socks getting lost in the dryer. “Where do they go?” He wondered in his nasal New York Jewish kind of way. Years later he became the King of the Sitcom World and I always thought of him as that Jewish guy Ilene thought was so cute. Ilene and I found our own Jewish guys, neither one nearly as funny as Jerry, but funny enough to marry. All I took away from the evening was the schtick about the socks. I did not remember any of his other jokes. Although I am sure they were observational and amusing as is most of his material.

Now that I am a married mother of two my husband has a different sock complaint. He claims I am unable to match his socks up properly when they come out of the laundry. He dresses in the dark, unlike Bruce who Dances in the Dark, so as not to wake me from my much needed beauty sleep. He claims when he gets to work he notices he is wearing two different socks. I fold them in pairs and put them in the drawer. They were matching when I put them in so why there is some sort of magical sock swapping (think wife swapping) going on in that closed dresser drawer is a mystery I will never solve.

I have moved on to a far greater concern. I think our hangers are having sex. I spent this morning trying to clean out the house and get some sort of order into our humble abode. It seems I am part of some weird science fiction film. Our house is slowly being filled with more and more and more hangers. Where are they all coming from? I don’t know. I think they are mating. It is the only explanation. I know I have bought some because I thought I needed a specific kind to keep the clothes looking good, but suddenly I have a wide variety and a huge amount of clothing hangers. I wonder what Jerry Seinfeld would think of that???