298 Days Until the big Five-O

Is there anyone out there that did not have sex with Tiger Woods? Now, I am starting to get pissed. I feel like I was left off an important party list. Are all these women liars just looking to capitalize on the latest sales trend to tabloids? If not, and according to one of these chicks, Mr. Woods is quite endowed, I want in on the action. Tiger, call me! Don't tell my husband, and I won't tell your wife. I know you are use to tall, thin, long haired, goregeous women but you never know, perhaps a change of pace and stature might be interesting.