What to do?
The daily care and maintenance of elderly parents is a full time job. My best friend and I are on that part of life’s journey simultaneously. We rely on each other for advice, as sounding boards and as our very own resource system. Following is a sample of one of our exchanges via email. I have been very worry as of late because my usually sharp 90 year old mother has seemed confused a lot lately. I have changed all the names (not that you couldn’t figure out mine) to protect the innocent (if that is what you want to call them). I also took artistic license to edit, augment, and change whatever I felt like.
Robert Wrote:
How is your mother’s oxygenation level? I thought the first time she spent time in the Manor (sounds like a euphemism along the lines of 'Shalom, Baby') she needed oxygen. It may be a good sign that she recognizes she's confused. Did her dr. have a plan if the confusion didn't lessen with the anti-biotics?I got an email from Irwin forwarding a Facebook message from Lawrence M. Do you know who that is? He went to Boone, then went to Lane, where I knew him from some shared classes. He was a really weird guy - smart, attractive, but off social skills. I never saw him with a girl. He sat behind me in English junior year and I can only describe him as hostile and verbally abusive. He was prone to negative comments about girls - stupid, etc. - and proudly wore a hoodie most days that said 'male chauvanist pig' over an elaborate drawing of a violent looking pig. This was not popular clothing at the time, and at a school of 5000 teenagers, he was the only one I ever saw wearing something like this. Since it seemed like he really hated women, I was surprised to learn via Irwin that he married one. Of course, according to his story, he picked her up at the beach when he was 40 and she was 20, married her eight years later, and then had his first kid recently. He's a radiolotist, so he's not hurting financially, and she probably thought she hit the jackpot. Can you imagine having anything in common beyond physical attraction with someone that much younger than you? It's so funny how after all these years, this guy's life trajectory seems consistent with where he was going in high school. My mother needs anti-depressants but refuses to take them. She's having trouble with her eyesight.
I wrote back:
I was with Irwin when he sent that to you. I love the flow of your writing and how it ends so abruptly with “my mother needs antidepressants”. Thanks for the tip on the oxygen. I have to call the "Rabbi on Wheels" to see if they can take my mom to the dr. for a four thirty appt. Unfortunately the fucking place where she lives needs to find people who can drive their stupid van around for more than 6 hours three days a week. motherfuckers.
Get a load of my “to do” today:
Call my mentally challenged adult male cousin’s attorney so I can then say the right things when I call the SS Nurse about his disability qualifications.
Call the State of IL. SS Nurse (ominous acronym wouldn't you say?) to get my mentally challenged cousin who I have been helping way too much over the last 4 years so I can get him On Disability and OFF my fucking nerves.
Call Rabbi to see if his guy (hey, a new sit com idea for FOX: The Rabbi's Guy instead of the Family Guy – imagine the possibilities) can drive my mother who will be very hostile after being examined in her apartment for a hearing aid fit to the doctor to see what else we can do to bring her back to her Jolly Old Self.
Clean (a figure of speech in this instance) my house which is slowly turning into site soon to be given "disaster status" by the President of the United States no less - just ask him, go ahead I dare you. He doesn't seem to be too busy fixing the economy, putting people back to work, or living up to all those "words" he said were not just "words". Denise told me he is playing more Golf than W did! That must be when he is not out partying with Desiree, Valerie and all the girls in the East Wing.
Try to Remember the other 100 things I absolutely NEED to do like get my daughter ready for an Ice Show.
Go to the ice show.
File, File, File,: son’s stuff, daughter’s stuff, mother’s stuff, cousin’s stuff and my stuff (who the hell is “I” anyways?).
Write the Great American Novel OR simply put a Post on my poor neglected Blog (perhaps I should just copy and paste this email) Hey, can I have your permission to do that. I will change your name to protect your innocence (not that you have any left) and i will also change the name of the individual you gossiped about because I was petty enough to make my friend send you his info on face book. Face Book is just contributing to the overall Gigantic/Enormous aka my new word GI-Normous flow of useless information being used to submerge our culture and our people into mindless robots easily manipulated by some secret cabal of super rich people hiding their money in Castles somewhere off shore.
Robert Wrote Back:
Post away. Change names please, and it's not gossip - it's a memoir. I noticed that when I started checking your blog regularly it seemed to dry up. Re: the great Obama: I'm getting sick of all this complaining from people who thought we elected the Messiah and are getting impatient about the deliverance. Take a look at who is impeding progress, and make sure you don't see yourself. One thing about Republicans; they're loyal in the long term, willing to wait out even complete incompetence and malfeasance until they can elect it again. Considering the depth of poop Bush left behind, I believe it will take more than a year to clean it up. I'm hoping it takes at lease eight.I just got my daily frantic call from my mother near tears because she's frustrated about some phone call she needs to make or a form she needs to fill out. I repeat, daily
I wrote Back:
Okay, I will post away. It did not dry up. I am calling you right now and you are not answering so I guess you're talking to your mom. I hate when you make sense (e.g. with Obama) but then again, the guy had a MANDATE and he is so damn smart I can't help but feel disappointed in the Democrats yet again. I think you and I should either start a 3rd Party (the Independents are not really an organized group and if they are they are not very effective) or better yet, a 3rd World Country - Get ourselves a small chunk of land no one else wants and see how long it takes before a bunch of morons want to attack us for no good reason (e.g. like Israel).
love ben
Our Pseudonyms should be Robert and Ben.
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