Long Time, No Blog

I have not visited my blog lately. Does it get lonely without me? Do the old posts go stale? Has anyone read it? Yes, it is lonely. Yes, the old posts proably go stale just like food. No, no one has read it because I have failed to tell people. So here goes, if I build it, will they come? I am going to send out an email blast to as many people as I can. I realize most of them will never read any of this. Who has the time. Obviously I do since I am sitting here typing away.



The real reason I am trying to "drum up business", create a following, find an audience (you get the picture) is I need the pressure of a deadline. It is either that or a need for public humiliation. Either way, I need to jump start a writing career of some kind. I need to expand beyond ghost writing speeches for Bar and Bat Mitzvahs. I need a purpose and possibly a money producing adventure. We could all use a little more money these days. I thought of trying my hand at writing Greeting cards, butI am not sure my ideas would float in a Hallmark Store. You would think with all the ever expanding categories there would be tons of people looking for those special cards like:
"Your Cheating Spouse Doesn't Deserve You"
"You looked better BEFORE you lost all that weight"
"Don't let the fact that I have REAL problems stop you from Complaining about Bad Service at the Hummer Dealership"
"Keep UP the Great Bragging, I really do LOVE listening to you go on and on about (fill in the blank).

Alas, I am usually alone in the corner with my dark humor. So I must use this blog to help myself find a map, a treasure map to making money from my writing. If a picture is worth a thousand words, then why can't my words be worth a thousand bucks. If I keep writing all the time, something will have to happen. A book deal, an offer from Saturday Night Live writing staff, a chance to become a correspondent for the Daily Show, my own local cable program to be viewed by as few people as there are reading this blog??? Who knows where the creative energy being produced by my tip tapping fingers will lead? Then again, perhaps I should develop Mad Libs for Adult parties. Just think of the fun I could have inciting trouble between neighbors, friends and spouses.

As you have figured it out by now I have a very difficult time charting and following a specific writing theme. If I did not have this problem I would be writing a novel and not some inconsequential blog. So what made me start a blog. Truthfully, I think I am fufilling some long hidden desire to create something. I thought creating a human being would have quenched this desire, but now that my children are 13 and 10 I realize that even the miracle of creating human life did not satisfy my inner need for creating something larger than my "self" which is quite large. I take up a lot of psychic space.

Yet, I have only told three or four people about this blog. "If a tree falls in the forest, does it make a sound?" Ahhh, an old conundrum. I say yes, especially for the birds living in the tree. But it is not a very loud sound. So using that premise: If I write a blog and do not tell people about it, does it make a sound? Not really. At least not a very loud sound. And anyone who knows me, knows I am one LOUD person. So I am expanding my exposure. I have always wanted exposure and at the same time feared it, but as I get closer and closer to 50 I realize it is finally time to conquer all my fears. And this includes writing AND publicizing my BLOG.
Please consider this a formal invitation into the mind of a scattered fearful almost fifty year old woman.

This blog may actually be serving two purposes. Yet, I believe dual purposes like multi tasking are a trend. Soon we will all discover we should never multi task since it will only result in diminishing returns for all involved tasks. And if there are dual purposes, there must be competing priorities. A lose/lose/lose situation.

So this blog will have to become something else entirely. For those of you who have tuned in and have the courage (okay, I mean patience, not courage) to visit on a regular basis, I will try my best to provide entertaining insights into the secret world I call BenitaVille. Hopefully my static thoughts will not result in static writing. Hopefully, my words will electrify, and cause laughter for one and all. Hopefully, Next Time will not be in a very Long Time. In the meantime, please let me know if you have been here by leaving a comment or two. They do not need to be positive. I will take anything. Negative comments are just as welcomed and ignored as the positive ones. I do believe I am immune to praise and insults alike.



I hope to see you soon.