Who stole my Purpose and how can I get it back?

This will be the hardest thing I have ever done. I have to commit to everyday being filled with purpose and meaning. I can no longer waste time.

Here is my problem. I am supposed to find a passion, a life’s purpose. Every article, book, discussion, documentary and website leads to the same answer:

Do what you love and the money will follow.

This can be turned around into “What do you love to do?”

When you answer this question it is like winning the lottery. Now this is where I run into problems. I want to be comfortable financially but I don’t want to have to earn it. I want it to fall into my lap. I know. This is a common problem amongst humans, especially American humans.

Obviously the lottery is not a safe bet. Even with my crappy math skills, I can figure that one out. Marriage to the wealthy usually only happens for other wealthy people, so that was never an option. If I want a lot of money I will need to find a way to “earn” it. This is where finding my “passion” or “purpose” comes into play. If I find this all consuming “passion/purpose” then it will not feel like work and it will magically manifest itself into financial security for me and all my children and grandchildren. This leads to my second big problem:

I love doing nothing!

I can meander through life happily for days, weeks, months, years, even decades without accomplishing a thing.

Here is what I LOVE to do:

Watch television

Eat Cereal

Walk my dog

Read

Hang out with my girl friends

Surf the web (especially Huffington Post)

Sleep

So I need someone to tell me how in the hell I can make a living doing any of the things I love.

My Thoughts on Talent and Life

Talent without desire is a waste, an empty space. It doesn’t matter how smart you are, how clever you are, or how naturally talented you are. Unless you want something with all your heart and soul and are willing to be disciplined and determined about living the dream or achieving the goals then your talents no matter how great will simply evaporate.

We all get the same 24 hours in every day. How we choose to spend them will determine whether or not we get a return on our investment. Spend the time productively and see your personal profits rise like a sunflower reaching to the light. Spend the time like I do, wallowing in wishful thinking, and you will wilt in the shadows of other people’s sunshine.

Fallen

I have fallen in love with the barren trees

Leaving me an unfettered view of the birds.

Sitting on the Naked Branches and singing

Their voices sound clearer without the leaves surrounding and softening their songs.

I hear ghosts long gone from this earth.

When the trees are full and green is everywhere

I can only see the birds in my mind.

Are these phantom sounds seeping through the foliage?

The songs of lost loved ones reaching back to comfort me?

Is my mother a Ruby-throated humming bird, my father a sparrow, and my aunt a meadowlark?

Summer's warm air and thick foliage act as a fortress through which I cannot see.

In the fall the Truth appears clear as the cool blue sky returns.

The birds, their voices, their beauty in stillness staring back at me as I walk on the fallen leaves.

I am strangely aware these birds are the lost pieces of my soul.

The trees rooted into the earth where my loved ones have been encased for eternity, a resting place.

The earth is the source for the trees just as my mother was the source for me, and now they are one in the same.

Soon winter winds will blow the birds far from my ears and eyes.

I lay on top of her grave trying to feel closer to her and the earth.

The ground seals in my sorrow as I cry,

Listening to the birds bringing their last songs before heading south.

An Encore as another season slips by and my soul seems unearthed.